I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
