ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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