The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
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