She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
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