Kareoke will never be a sober sport
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
