Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Randomize