What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
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