I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
