He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
