i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize
