Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
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