Where did you get a picture of my penis
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
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