i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
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