ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize
