I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
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