every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
I want her autograph on my taint
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
My life is pants optional.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
