Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Randomize