Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
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