They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize