Ambien. No doubt about it.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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