There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
Randomize
