Sorry, I don't speak sober.
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
