these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
