im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
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