just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Randomize
