Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize