Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
i just google imaged poop.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
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