Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Randomize
