I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize