ya dads aren't the best wingmen
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
vagina is talking i cant
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
