we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
