He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
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