last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
Randomize
