they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize
