Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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