she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Someone stole a lamp last night.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
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