kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Found the puke drawer
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Randomize
