Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
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