You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
