remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
