You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
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