I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize
