Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Randomize
