you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
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