Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
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