Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Randomize
