Ambien. No doubt about it.
North Korea, Best Korea!
can u get pink eye on your cock?
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
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