TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
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