yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
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