Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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