pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
