is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
