I'm lost and stupid without you.
I skipped work to stalk him.
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
