apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
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