sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
Four minutes until I can fart!
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Randomize
