She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
