pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
Randomize
