Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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