I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
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