can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
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