Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Randomize
