Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
