It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
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