Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize
