Grow some girl-balls and come out already
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
Randomize
