i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Randomize
