Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
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